I'm A Flygeriaaann

I DON FIND HER OHHH!!

My dear i don see her!! 2 blogs ago i tell you bout my taylor who i wori immigration or bailiffs don carry go. I wan fear that i go see her for Nothing to Declare as they troway her back for naija... Mek i remind you.. one of my sistaz mumzie de celebrate her 50th birthday BIG STYLE! And you know Yoruba people, when de wan do something deh go do am LAGOS PARTY KINDA WAY... so me now, wan do my own efizii.. mek dem kno I DON ARRIVE!! But see me see trouble now my taylor who de sow my clothes vanish like Banjee..like one kind Wintch.. i no find am! I don look for her faarr and wiiideee..  from asking people from church to going to that dirty place they call peckham .. i no see am at all at alllll!! I sent my bros to go hunt her down.. see me see trouble.. i even call home office and ask to see if them maga's don send her back home... no luck there ohh.. i couldn't even reveal much to them incase i sparked any unwanted attention.... Na so i see am my dear.. i don even taya for the woman, i already settle my mind for black maxi which by the time i try am on e no fit me like i thought before... so by this point my dreams of doing guuuyyy for dem people in the party don travel down guttah.. i was mentally preparing myself to look wowo! And i planed to make wowo look classy some how.. but lo & behold the woman called me today... As i looked down on my caller ID and saw her name "Kobo legged taylor" i nearly cried for joooyy!!! Baba God good oh!!! If anyone says Prayer no work, may God hammer dem!! 2days ago i had prayed fervveennttllyyy.. i no go liiee you, i prayed one of dem Mountain of Fire prayers that all my Enemies of fashion progress should be seeing me for night until they release to me my fashion blessing, Any plans that wan make me look wowo should DIE BY FIRE, DIE BY FIRE, DIE BY FIRE (x 7) or become blessings for me instead... so na me be this! Tank God for me ohhh!!  

Anyyyyyyyy wayyyyy... No be my fashion miracle i wan speak to you about today my people, Wetin i wan talk about relates to a topic that your papa probably de discuss every night and i'm sure you would have noticed that channels such as NTA News is on more often... well firstly like i said 2 blogs ago, mek una listen to this song... e go get you in the right kinda mood...

Soo by the end of today everyone of our bruvas and sistas would have finish voting for our president..

Wetin Consine you? Abi? Well, one thing i know, from times of our great granpapa we don de woze Nigerian  politician suuttttttaaayyy it has so much become an expectation... a Self-fulfilled prophecy... that Nigeria na corrupt place.. that Nigerian politicians na YeYe people.. that nothing good can come out of Nigerians.. O boi we don wooozzzzeee Nigerians taya!! We are probably the only people that de curse our OWN nation!! Afghans de enjoy, Indians de enjoy, Chinko de enjoy... but we de pour out curses upon curses for our own country... Our parents have indoctrinated us to believe that nigeria na worse than hell fire to the point that our generations and the ones below us do not see the need to go nigeria.. My brother wan turn his Nigerian name to William or Wilson.. This one no be Facebook name exchange ohh, when person like Adesola Oshilaja now turn his name to Dez Jacobs.. Adesola would want people to call him just Dez... This one wetin i talk is LEGAL NAME CHANGE, were no even Nigerian Embassy go recognize you anymore.. 

Nigeria isss messed up but what do you expect when we no go pray for our homeland.. 

I said it 2008 and i shall say it again 2011.. They shall coommmee a time, when Mr Cameron go send alllllll our black ynash back to that Nigeria we don spit on finish! I PROMISE you!! Infact look at how thing de go now... Mr Cameron with his ethnocentric beliefs go send us all back home... even if you carry Britico passport  e no go matter... Unless you are of the same skin of Mama Chale (Prince Charles Mother) your not as british as your primary school teacher said you weree... You carry AFRICAN BLOOD... your bones no go swim like oyinbo cus you be DUDU!! With that understanding mek una pray for our land.. As they elect the new presido for naija town mek una  pray HARD!! Fast & Pray!!  Corruption is a thing of the devil, no be God's idea... So unless you pray, when they go carry us back home we go see wohala (you de laugh me now, but e go shockk you)...

As for me i am voting in spirit.. GOODLUCK JONATHAN... His name says it all.. Nigeria needs all the luck it could get.

Abegggg.. no let us down ohh!!

PDP- POWER TO THE PEOPLE !!

OmoSexy (A true Flygerian)

African Bride!!

My beautfiul fans nawa for you oh!! 

The way this blog thing just de keep me up thinkin of wat to write sutttaayyy sleep no catch me, so this mornin i wan vex for anyone who wan wake me up.

But my gasshhh, i have become the ultimate blog master!! May God forgive anyone who didn't tell me how fun this blog thing is, e b like i de smoke eegbo!     ADDICTIVE!!    

In facccttt mek i gist you small, last night i uploaded one gadget like dat, wetin de call am? Flag counter or Visitor calculator, anyhow the gadget na ddiiiiieeeee mehn… it counts how many people has viewed my page. Small me of yesterday, that only had one view from my dearest friend ShayShay just de hammer plenty plenty views to the point wer now as I de talk my blog has been viewed 58times… O boi, I wan piss for body wen I see am! I was so egzited,, Naija inlove is getting Famous… 

but check this, the gadget showed me that one person from ICELAND don see my page!!! O boi I neva knew dudu man don reach Iceland oh! If not black man maybe e be one nice oyinbo like that that has interest in Naija lifestyles and finds naija blogs “educating”… you kno, like how we de watch Animal channel in order to educate us.. Oga or Madame if na you, no mind me ohhh… not all naija's de speak like me, no start to de  think that all naija’s speak like one Christmas goat dat no read book, naija’s are actually very articulate, if they grammertize for you, you go feeaarrr!!  So abeg ohh, no blame me… My school too like to strike and when they are open I no fit “please” lecturers cuz I be Christian so passing my JAM na fairy tale…

Anyway, you know when you wan sleep after work and your man just de sweet talk you taya… da maga de romance you and call you all the none sense lies that he told you wen you guys 1^st met, “Sweerat you too fine!” “Sweet Potatoe, your so luscious”… he no kno that when wind blow fowl ynash go open and you know wassup.. You close your eyes hoping that common sense would finally konk him for head, but at this point his brain don jump on okada to travel down south.. (Btw, this should only happen in marriage oh)… He go rub your back thinking that one na wetin you want… you still ignore.. infact by the way he de look at you, you go feeeeaaarrrr! Wetin de do this one? E be like say his konji don intefer with his eye sight cus the way he looks at you, you wori he go confuse your body for eguisi and your head for Isi Ewu (goat head)... As he grins at you, you see the shaki from lunch wer tooth pick refused to locate ... he now carry himself from bed  to put a CD on.. plays you guys songgg, the one wer you guys danced to when you first met, Boyz2Men? African Queen nko?  Or if you guys met for ajegunle he may even play one Daddy Showkey song like dat.. Love song is in the ears of the beholder abi?

 Anywayss this does the trick and you manage to totorize yourself inorder to ehh… “Submit”? to this mumu you call your bobo …My point is music puts you in the mood… so in that case before I go into my next part mek una listen to this song…

Did I mention that I am OBSSEEESSSEEDDD with WEDDINGS!! 

That one na me.. just imagine that bride as me.. its simple if you squint lol

My friends think I de craze but na bad belle de worri them… I just loovvee them.. no be my fault, i too de watch Four Weddings  butttt  still mehn.. by the grace of God I shall marry one day..one day… one day soon *hehe* and before then I have dedicated my spare time to drooling over wedding ideas, wedding dresses ect ect… even to the point of my Tradi! It has to be ON POINT!!!

Oooo i like this flower bunch

Let me gist you.. Thiss picture is my SCREEN SAVER- I just LOOOVVVEEE it!! the dress, the lighting, the veil.. even how the brides maid in da pink de look at the bride with bad belle lol

I love this her hair..she style am well well

My Peoppllleeesss

Basket mouth no get shame.. your wedding day and you still de carry dada for head kmt

Ah Ahh! Nice cake sha, but wetin dey put inbetween.. holy communion .. looks like it to me

As you can see.. i like purple & white *hint hint*

My Peopppleee- Edo traditional wedding wear

Ekpami Oh!! The man who by the grace of God get me something just like that-- REAL GOLD.. DIAMONDS IN CARATS!! God will blesss you. Una shine your eyesss ohh.. Dat ring wetin you see there na my owwwnn personal bridal price lol.. *not including my mumzies requirements of: £600,000, 150 male goats, 80 boxes of yam, 20 boxes of plantain, 7 suitcase of lace, 12 pairs of matching shoe and bag, 12 barrels of palm wine, 2 Ghana must go bags full of cola nut and a personal Boeing Airplane where my mumsie could use travel to Nigeria without saving money for 3years before every visit ..* Why you de squeeze face, you wan mek my hand land on your face?!? If Loreal is worth it, ME TO I AM WORTH IT

As you can see, wen my own turn reach, with my ideas and PhD on wedding planning lol.. my own one shall have wetin i call- Efiziii!! Glitz and Glam Glam!! Just money de yab me... Plus i still want to prepare for the hard bit- the marriage..*long pause as you hear the birds tweeting away*    .... Abeg Joh!! Nothing de do me!! Virtuous wifey you de look at already. don't watch that! loll

Abeg make i go, you people will not allow me to rest no more!! 

6000 words assignment de wait for me in the Library ..

Bye Bye oh!.. Don't talk to no Area Boy before deh go use charm & mumu you finish

RUNAWAY TAYLOR

My Bredrens!! How farrrr?!?! 


However, wonders shall never end! I have come across this music that is just PEPPER SOUP HOT!! If you loved Fela or Shina Peters style of fuji music or/and love Gospel then you shall love this particular beat..
It's by Tosin Martins (dat fine boy that sang that song Olo mi, weh everyone de go totori for).. well yes ohh.. he don do am again..
HEAR AM!! You no like am, na you sabi!!

*Scream* Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!! So like my friend's mumzie de turn da BIG 50 soon (Chineke oh!! O Boi! that is half a century..100 YEARS KAI!! Anyway, Thank God for long life sha) .. BUT i have NOTTHIINGG to wear?!?! Wetin i go do meehhnn??.. Before I wan sow lace or ankara for the day but its less dan 10days from now and my taylor don vanish before my eyes.. see me see trouble!.. the woman is no where to be found..e be like say aliens or bailiffs don find am..  Sooo i thought on settling for the Plain Black Maxi dress look with gold bling bling..

But you should knnnoooowww meee by nooowww?!?! Since when i go groovin' and settle for simple elegance ?!? I NO FIT.. even if i was to try, it either Shine Shine or nothing.. Anyhow sha, I sent my baby brother on errands to hunt down this RunAway taylor.. she no fit waka from my life like dat!?! Enemy of Fashion Progress!! kmt.. Ah!Ah noow! Relate with me my friend, me who has already planned to do shakara that day this obstacle wan block my fashion progress.. I rebuke it!

I keep you all posted on the outcome of my dilemma however until then i have been inspired by some more Afro Fasion.. Been wanting to start of a business in Afro Fashion designing ect ect but money de yab me.. but Baba God shall provide soon soon.. he is not David Cameron that he should lie or Gaddafi that he should repent lol..

Anyway.. Check am:

CHAI!! FINE FINE GIRL

*GASP* This dress na diiiiiiiieee!! TOO BEAUTIFUL.. I WOULD FULLY WEAR THAT FOR MY WEDDING

Aww see her dimples

Fine Fine Bobo!!!

Really hot dress

Can you see the Satellite Dish she calls Gele.. Mama miaaa!!

LMAO!! He's wearing the Uncle Pointy Shoes!! loll

Red and Black Affair.. so nice

Nice abi?!.. Anyways.. i need to call my bros to see how the hunt for that my taylor is going...

GoodNight.. Don't let Mami Water Capture you! ..lol.. but seriously though.. pray before you go bed.. strange things are happening these days ..                                             

                                       

                     LOL.. LAUGH JARRE I DEH JOKE SEE YOUR HEAD NICOMPOOP!!!