But I am here now and a QUALIFIED NURSE!! WHEEPPEEE!! *those star jumps around the room*.
Na God Ohh!! Na God do am for me the devil tried nonsense but God scatter his shameful head- I be God's pickin ohh, no be me u go miss with or u go miss road!
Anyway, I have moved back home now which is extremely unfortunate, mumzie don forget that i be BIGS GIRLS now no be small house girl dat she could wake up anyhow for early morning to peel yam or go and line up for council office to go and pay her council tax MCHEEEEEWW!! For her mind my 3 years away from home was a short holiday for me to go and "groove" according to her, now her precious Ekaette The House girl is back to do her slave labor. I pity for myself jarreh. E No Easy.
Today in one of my very relaxed day i decided to go to the market to go and buy some various creams for spots & blemishes ect (Exam stress had completely ruined my skin, i was in need for some serious facial detox) so i now went to my local market (i shall not reveal the market, this is jand ohh i no get money for lawsuit). As i was wondering from stall to stall i now came across one koro. My heart was telling me "Turn backkk oohh!! You no hear word, TURN BACK!" Some may even say that na God de warn me for before hand but my friend curiosity is a devilish thing, i told myself 'Abeg biko, wetin de wori u sef, u act like u no be child of God' lool.. See this is the thing that sum of us baby christians don't understand, God no be fool... many a times we use God cover the fact that we foolish enough to enter were mama no send us go lol.. Daniel did not run to the den of lions to go and gist with Simba and Mufasa na circumstance land him there and that is WHEN the 'U no be God pickin' supernatural powers kicked in loll.. At that point i don't know wetin enter my head to go and check out this koro. As i enter this alley i now saw one shop, called....
-Spiritual Shop-
In the front window was plenty Jesus figurines and other 'holy' knickknacks of various saints and angels ect. I now reason am, 'mek i enter, besides i need a new bible and a few holy household novelties like a cross or something would go nice with the newly decorated kitchen' My bruda n sista na so i reason am for my mind ohh.When i now enter if you see the HEAVY smell of incense that blasted my nose, it was worse than being a cathedral during mass, just one kind incense knack my like this ehh.. i felt high!
"MY PICKIN RUN OHH, LEAVE THIS PLACE OOHHH!! THUS SAYS THE LORD ABEG LEAVE"
'Abeg wetin de worry me sef' i told myself 'God no de run' .. I now saw that inside all the human size 'holy' figurines where somewhat distorted. The man size statue of jesus had swollen konk on its forehead... now i think back the konk resembled a horn actually, then the 6ft statue of Virgin Mary had painted on it bloody tears and another mansize statue of another angel had this grin that resembled the Jokers grin from Dark Knight..
"HMM!! LUKE 6: 46- WHY DO YOU CALL ME 'LORD, LORD', AND NOT DO WHAT I TELL YOU?!"
As i turned i now saw one costumer walk in and she approached the shop owner who was appeared to be a black woman known as MaMa J* (again names have been changed). The conversation went sumfin like this:
Woman- Mama J, i just want to thank you for that ointment you gave me
Mama J- Which one my daughter, the 'Go away Evil' perfume that i got from Haiti last week or the 'All Month Good Luck' soap?
Woman- 'All month good luck' soap mama, since i started using it along with all the candle meditations i've got myself a new job, my baby girl stop wetting the bed, things just been going well for me
Okaaayy... Haiti!!?? The place where the national religion was once Voodoo??.. Candle Meditations?? ... 'Go Away Evil' soap??? At the very point of realization i now heard one scream from the back.. i can't explain to you what this scream sounded like... it wasn't human... more like a bird screaming.. like you know dem naija movies where Patience Ozokowor has just reached a Native doctor's house and you ALWAYS hear them wierd screams and burning sounds in the background loooll well YES OHH LIKE THAT!!
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At this point no one has to tell me to take me bag and runnnnnnnnnn!! Ehh?!? no be today Willie Willie go use me for blood money NO NO NOT MY PORTION OHH!! In my process of trying to 'discreetly' running without being noticed i nearly tripped over a turtle that seemed pretty comfortable strolling the shop floor like it was just a walk down the park.
At this point my "U Be God's Pickin" supernatural powers kicked in and gave me superman speed to leave that God forsaken place before you could say 'Blood of Jesus' loool.
When i got out, i felt different... i can't explain bros, it was as if during the time i was in there i was dangerously alonnee!! but now that i was out i was no longer alone.. I had the spirit of God once again with me... It now dawned on me...
There are some places that are so demonic that God Himself cannot enter the place with you since he is holy and even God would have to wait outside for you...
Light & Darkness cannot be combined!! But i thank God joh!! My stubbornness nearly landed me for trouble! but like in true Naija horror movie fashion:
To God Be The Glory
